Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.
william paisley
When I married my husband three years ago, I had a hard time bringing up things that bothered me. I never learned how to have hard conversations, so I would keep problems to myself. But if he didn’t know what was wrong, he couldn’t address it. My silence was actually hurting our relationship.
As I’ve grown as a wife, I’ve learned how to voice my concerns and needs. What works for us now is having conversations as things happen, and to complete a monthly relationship audit. In the business world, an audit is an inspection of a company’s accounts. So when we have our relationship audit, we are holding an intentional investigation into the climate and health of a relationship.
This is great for us because we are both very busy with managing our own work and raising our son. And with the hustle and bustle of everyday, it can be hard to pause and have the conversations that matter. So a relationship audit helps us to be intentional about keeping our marriage healthy.
Here are some of the questions we ask…
Am I meeting your emotional needs?
Are you currently overwhelmed by anything?
Do you feel supported in your craft and work?
Am I a safe space for you?
How do you feel about where we are financially?
How can I pray for you?
Are you receiving the pleasure you need from our sex life?
Are there any unresolved hurts or issues that we should discuss?
Is our home comfortable for you?
What can I do to make your life easier or better?
But before you sit down with your partner to have this audit, I have…
Just a Few Tips
- Hold the audit when you’re both relaxed
- Allow your spouse to share their truth without becoming upset
- Be completely honest
Have you ever completed a relationship audit with your partner or spouse? Are there any questions that you would add to my list? If so, share them in the Comments below.
Keep blooming,
These are so good! Especially talking with your partner about your sex life! t makes me so sad when couples aren’t a safe space for each other. I can’t imagine being in a marriage where I didn’t feel like I could say what I needed to say. Another great post!
Thanks so much, Emily! And yes – it is so important that our marriages are a safe space to discuss anything. I’m grateful to have cultivated that in my own, and I hope that this helps others to do the same. Thanks for reading!